Ask Loria


I started a new job with a lot of older colleagues who don’t like the new way that I’m doing things. How do I explain to them that I’m a qualified professional, but still keep a good working relationship in tact?

One thing to always remember that respect is earned not just given. Your colleagues will have a few suggestions for you just because they feel they have earned the right to give input to the “newbie”. Many corporate jobs have laws like the jungle, “survival of fittest”. You are unfortunately trespassing on their territory; until they get your “scent” they are going to “sniff” you out. Stay open to suggestions and concentrate on allowing your work to speak for itself.

One of my professors seems like she’s into me. I’m definitely into her. I know I can’t make a move now, but I was thinking about approaching her after the semester ends. What should I do?

I know you are probably flattered that a beautiful and intelligent older woman seems like she is into you, but don’t take it too seriously. If she is really showing interest in you, this could mean you aren’t her first fling and you won’t be her last. Resist the temptation and keep your power by not succumbing to the allure of the temptress. Allow the attention to work for you, get an “A” but keep your power and self-respect. Warning!!!, what if you read the signs wrong? Rejection and possible expulsion will be painful…

I am in my senior year here at Rutgers. It is important to my parents that I go on to graduate school to ensure a great job, but I don’t really see myself in school for another two years. How can I explain to them that I appreciate their input but need to decide for myself if graduate school is right for me?

Dear Considerate, first of all I am so proud of you for considering your parents’ wishes. In this day and time it is refreshing to see young adults that show respect and acknowledge the wisdom of their elders. However; acknowledging their wishes does not equate to the denial of your own desires. If you don’t want to go to graduate school right now then you shouldn’t. Doing things that you don’t want to do often creates inner turmoil and frustration that generally leads to poor life choices. Explain to your parents that you need a little time off from school to give your self a break and to evaluate your future desires. Not now doesn’t mean “No.”


About Author

Leave A Reply