Dear Scarlet: Week of 12/6/2010

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Dear Scarlet,

I’ve been dating a new boyfriend for two weeks now and I’ve no idea what is appropriate to give someone you just met for Christmas. We passed by a shoe store window at the mall and he was staring at these really cool dress shoes. I thought that might be a gift that didn’t seem too endearing. What do you think? He doesn’t know how much I really adore him and I want to make him realize how much I care.

-Christmas Sweetie

Dear Sweetie,

Sorry, but I object on the shoes being intimate. If you exchange a gift like that without exchanging “I love you” yet, he’s going to run as fast as he can in this sneaks. If you knew each other a little longer it would be okay. My posse is packed with a lot of testosterone and they agree, if you pick out dress clothes or dress shoes this quickly, then he may get the idea that you are pressuring him to be exclusive and want him to dress a certain way. It’s a common, misinterpreted date mistake (like leaving girly toiletries at their house after a few dates).

Although, it can be possible you’ll be the one that helps him buy attire soon, it’s best to let your man and you agree on that first. There are some wives out there that don’t pick out dress shoes for their hubbies. Save this gift for a later date (sorry about the pun). Why don’t you start with filling a stocking with cologne, gift cards, or small gadgets?

Happy Hunting,
Scarlet

Dear Scarlet,

Every year it’s a mystery if my childhood friend will come over with a gift or not. She doesn’t stay at her places of employment very long, and moves around a lot. So, every holiday I’m either giving her a gift with nothing in return because she is broke, or she comes through with a gift and I’m empty handed or running around for something stupid at the last minute. Help!

-To Gift or Not to Gift

Dear TGNG,

Yup, “The thought doesn’t count” in this Christmas situation, because you are both only left with embarrassing rosy cheeks like Santa. I’d say pick something you like out in a clothing store, but you can be different sizes, and gift cards are impersonal with such a close friend. Something new that comes to mind, is getting a spa gift certificate. If she doesn’t come through it will be less stressful when a hot massage therapist is melting your stress away. I’d say buy candles, scarves, and nicknacks but that just leaves your house cluttered with things you probably don’t need. Go for the big payoff at the spa…you can make it a secretive game with yourself that will at least bring a laugh if you lose. Happy Holidays!

-Scarlet

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