Dear Scarlet: Week of 11/15/2010


Dear Scarlet,

We live in the land of the free, yet I feel singled out and even dismissed by some of my friends lately because of my religious beliefs. Atheism is an aspect of my life I withhold because I know sometimes it leads to either lecturing or thinking I am a bad individual. You know, just because I don’t believe in an afterlife, doesn’t mean I believe in reeking havoc in this life. Scarlet, I’ve lived long enough to know I can’t get help (I’ve shown friends and family situations where religious people did bad deeds and they still won’t budge), but wouldn’t mind some extra support if you feel for me.


Just Human

Dear JH,

You’re absolutely right about this being a land where you cannot be persecuted for what you believe (or don’t believe). Everyone is going to walk all different paths and it’s their right, in return, to decide their own personal boundaries. However, if they treat you with any outwardly disrespect or single you out, it’s not acceptable.

Yes, religion and politics are very touchy subjects, and it’s really hard to tell in this world who is “good” and who is “bad.” Labeling a person, place, or thing as such, without getting all the details seems to be lacking something not just spiritual, but human. Also, the examples you’ve been quoting to others must be clear facts. There have been many occasions about such events (in the name of religion) that have been taken out of context. Like I said, these subjects are very delicate issues for any party to discuss with superiority, so please have all your facts straight or you’ll be just as bad as the people who snubbed you.


Dear Scarlet,

My grandfather passed away a year ago, and my grandmother is acting different. She has been going out with men younger and spending money on new clothes. I’m afraid that these men will take advantage of her and try to take all my grandfather’s money. We confronted each other, because she noticed my being uncomfortable. She just smiled and seemed to not take me seriously. Grandsons can know something about relationships and give advice, right? They’re not all going to be like grandpa. The whole role reversal thing happening here is weirding me out. What do I do?

-Worried Grandson

Dear Worried Grandson,

You’re weirding me out! It seems like your grandmother is having a blast. After her year of sadness this woman deserves to do whatever the hell she wants. I really don’t think anyone will ever compare to your grandfather, nor is your gram probably looking for a replacement. Open your eyes, there’s no role-reversal, because guess what? She is always, absolutely, positively, going to be your matriarch as long as she is breathing. And just because she’s a woman, doesn’t mean she ever did or will need a man to take care of her. The smile when you confronted her was probably a gesture that she was glad you cared about her, but also of disbelief that you were going to lecture a lady who has obviously “been there.” Free grandma! Let gram party!



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