Oh, God really “dropped the ball” this week with the passing of Dick Clark. America mourns the loss of the man we have all brought in the New Year with since birth. I can feel Ryan Seacrest somewhere in the world shouting, “Finally!”
-82 years Dick’s been alive
Snoop Dog brought Tupac to life for a little under 5 minutes at Coachella this year. Tupac rocked out with Snoop and brought the house down…or the dead up. Regardless, I watched it 28 times on Youtube (That’s a real number).
+16 years since Tupac died
For all ye Football Fans: The schedule is up and your hearts are aflutter. Maybe this will be your year Eagles fans? If you want to touch what Superbowl rings look like, you can borrow one of the Giants’ rings to try on.
-however many years y’all haven’t won… (eternity?)
Travis Porter came, Travis Porter left. Now that Spring Fling is over we can get right down to the most fun part of college…the parties the night before Finals. Just kidding, professors. The best part is failing your class.
-What does a 4.0 look like anymore?
The end is here and it’s time to say Adios to some loved ones. A scant few of you will be missed outgoing seniors. Enjoy the rest of adulthood. Breathe in the air of responsibility and bills. I’ll be enjoying my education and semblance of freedom as long as it lasts.
+ Rent that costs $1000!
This last week’s total will equal up to the magic number of 4. No, my calculator isn’t broken (well it might be) but it’s in homage to the graduates of 2012. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Arrivederchi. Godspeed. Good Luck.
THIS OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THE RAPTOR REPORT ARE THOSE OF THE COMMENTARY EDITOR, AND DO NOT REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF THE GLEANER OR OF RUTGERS UNIVERSITY.